I have a journal book where I write things down from time-to-time. I was writing in my journal book about so-called 'boundaries'. Personal, human boundaries. The following is an account of some of what I explored within my Dream—it is a person dialogue with myself yet I share it here as I am sure my journey is not all that different from the next person and therefore perhaps this will be of benefit to someone going through a similar self-exploration.

April 4, 2004

It would seem that because I have not been aware of my own 'boundaries'—or the boundaries of my ego-mind—and have therefore not taken them into consideration very often and under certain circumstances, particularly in relation to certain types of people and human relationship situations—which is of course the only time boundaries exist or could come into play—this has resulted in me quite often being uncomfortable in situations where I feel like I might be approaching some ones boundaries. There are some situations were I will simply be unaware of the other persons 'personal space' as defined by them. There will be other situations where I am aware of that space yet I cease communicating fully—or at all—when I feel like I am dealing with the things that define that space. It is a place I simply don't like to go.

I know that this can, at the apparent level, result in what to me seems like a disrespect of the other person, their feelings, and their 'space'. This is not an intentional disrespect. There is nothing overtly malicious in it. I simply become unaware of what I am doing in that regard. Yet I am also aware that this situation has arisen only with other people that have personal boundaries and then don't express what they are. They then feel like I have not honoured those boundaries yet they never made them clear. I usually feel those boundaries but have generally taken the approach that it is not my business to be doing their feeling and talking on their behalf.

I am really starting to look into what this is all about. Also, what are 'personal boundaries'? What do they represent within the scheme of things in this illusion? What role do they play?
In some ways I can see that 'personal boundaries' are what the ego uses to define it's take on the world. It uses this to set down the parameters in which it will operate and the degree to which it will allow the perceived outside world to enter into it's space. It will then attack anything that steps into those 'borders' and will launch an attack from within those boundaries upon any other 'ego space' that seems to be an approaching threat. Like some kind of pre-emptive strike. So long as the approaching ego-minds 'out here' appear to be honouring the 'space' it has defined for itself then it feels okay and allows 'the other' to step into the space defined by its boundaries.

So that is one aspect of personal boundaries that I can see.

I am also aware that as I have never had strongly defined 'personal boundaries' I am perhaps not at all qualified to 'know' what they are really about. I can see that my lack of such self imposed boundaries has at times 'got me into trouble' with other's. I get into situations where—in my experience—they feel threatened by me being there. It's like their ego-mind doesn't know how to identify me and hence doesn't know whether to define me as a potential source of attack on its world. So it simply goes into pre-emptive attack mode in order to be sure nothing comes in and disrupts the illusion of that persons ego-mind.

I am wondering if there are situations where it is mutually beneficial for me to be aware of the boundaries people have placed around themselves. I wonder if it is also beneficial that I become aware of the boundaries my ego-mind has set up for itself. I mean, I am here in this world in a human body-mind and I know full well the ego-mind is still there doing it's thing. Hence it must have defined some sort of boundaries for itself. I can say "I have never had strongly defined 'personal boundaries' yet I am aware that this ego-mind here in my Dream does in a more hidden way have boundaries.

What has just come to me is that my not acknowledging those boundaries means that I can never go beyond them. They remain in the dark. I know that the Light That I Am would dispel such darkness rather quickly. What I am feeling in this moment is that the ego-mind I live in this world with has obscured my 'personal boundaries' from my awareness so that they would be safe from my figuring out what's going on. Now that I see this I feel the task at hand is to make a point of being fully aware of exactly what boundaries my ego-mind have set up. Then to work through them one-by-one and let them go—with love and with the deepest of respect. For I Am sacred space, I Am holy ground and all that comes to pass through this space shall be approached with Love and Respect.

I am sure I will find apparent 'wounds' in the ego-mind and in my emotions as I allow these 'boundaries' to come to light. I can already feel the 'pain' that is residing there. Pain that has been obscured by the perceived lack of boundaries—by the perceived lack of self-definition of the persona. Of course, what I am seeing is that this definition was not absent at all. It was being obscured and hidden from my Awareness. Those wounds—energy from the perceived past that I have formed an attachment to until such time as I cease judging it—I shall move through again with Love and Respect. May the Holy Spirit heal me and free me of the self-created illusions of pain, separation and suffering.

What I shall also do is define the nature of My Sacred Space. I can only do that with God for that is God's space as much as it is mine. That much I know.

So now I am doing some guesswork.

What will be the nature of my relationship to other people's apparent 'boundaries' once I have uncovered and honoured my own apparent boundaries?
Once I have honoured the boundaries of the ego-mind within my Dream and let them go—replacing them with a clear sense of Sacred Space—how will I now relate to these in others?
I assume I will certainly no longer be blind to them as I once was.
I shall have to see how God moves me through this and what arises in this regard.

Post Script
It was some time ago that I wrote the above. Now that I put it here on this page and read through it I have this feeling that it is no longer 'accurate' or appropriate to how I know feel. Yet I shall put that aside. I wrote this exactly how it felt at the time and that might be exactly how it feels for someone else going through a similar exploration of 'personal boundaries'.

The day I was going through this exploration—most of which I did not write or express in words—I also went through a few other things that I wrote. Click Here to jump to that page on the site.